Notes on protesting

One, I was the only knucklehead today who didn’t bring gloves or a hat. Even if it isn’t cold, bring gloves because carrying a sign makes your hands raw after a while.

Two, if you are for the war and driving by and see a bunch of people with signs against the war, and you would like register your option, get out of your car and hold up a sign. Driving by with a raised middle finger is unsafe driving. Also, driving by and yelling obscenities isn’t just rude, it doesn’t work. The Doppler effect of a moving car moving along side a stationary body of people negates whatever message you have to mere select syllables. You may think you’re being clever, but we can’t hear you. Sorry.

Three, if you are protesting anything these days, make the words on your sign short and to the point. No quotes by Tolkien, no in-depth support of U.N. resolution 1441, nothing with more than seven syllables total. Think the billboards from “Fahrenheit 451” and you’ll get the picture.

Good, simple sign slogans: “Would Jesus Bomb Iraq?” “No Iraq War” “Books Not Bombs”

Four, bring a friend when protesting. Standing by yourself is a drag, even when you are surrounded by like-minded people.

Five, if you're protesting and you don’t like insults being hurled at you, stand near a sign-waving grandma. No one, and I mean no one, shouts harsh words at a grandma unless they already have a luxury suite waiting for them in Hell.

Six, if you protest naked, you have more guts than I do.

Speaking of New York

If you have cable, there’s going to be an “Absolutely Fabulous” special tonight on Comedy Central. The girls hit New York for Fashion Week, and to track down Edina’s constantly missing son, who apparently wanted to remain absent for all these years. Hilarity ensues.

If you have no idea what “Ab Fab” is, then get an education here and find out about the new episodes being planned.

Today’s Word: Compliment

From One Word

The first thing I think of is it being the opposite of guilt. You are given praise; you have nothing to be ashamed of. They only mean something when they are true. Sometimes, you tell a string of them to get a girl in bed with you Compliments are for people who can’t use wit or imagination. A get out of jail free card for making conversation.