I'm not fat...it's my Kevlar, honest

Looks like someone's been eating too many Snacky Smores. Snip below.


AS AMERICAN troops prepare for war in Iraq a report is about to reveal that more than half of them are overweight.

A panel of nine medical experts commissioned by the Pentagon is expected to say that 53.9 per cent of US military personnel over the age of 20 would be classified as too fat to fight under federal obesity standards.

A fifth of those aged under 20 would also fail the fat test, The Times has learnt. Iraq may not have such sophisticated weapons, but its soldiers at least fit their uniforms better.

And a bit here about the real culprit.

The military is worried about attracting and keeping recruits from an increasingly overweight population: according to the US Surgeon-General, more than 60 per cent of Americans are overweight or obese.

A successful method used to recruit teenagers is to allow fast-food chains such as McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Chicken to operate restaurants on bases. Mess food is no longer obligatory.

Maybe its the absurdity of whole thing, but this story brings a grim smile to my face. Imagine: chunky U.S. soldiers huffing over some desolate ridge and running into some Iraqi fighters, desperate and emaciated from years of U.N. sanctions. Eyes lock. One side thinks: "Enemy." The other: "Lunch."

...which logically leads to Team Bush calling fast food a weapon of mass destruction. All over America you'll see bombed-out husks of McDonalds, Burger Kings and Pizza Huts.

Personally, I can't wait.

Unrelated note

The new, spiffy version of "Fellowship of the Ring" on DVD is flat-out amazing. It's the first time I wanted a long movie to go longer. The new and expanded scenes, especially revolving around Frodo's and Bilbo's relationship, Aragorn's past and his love for Arwen, and the small moments between Gimli and Galadriel, gave this remarkably human adventure film a bit more heart.

There's one bit that wasn't included which I thought should have been: Near the end of the film, Frodo, the young Hobbit who volunteered to carry the One Ring to Mordor so it could be destroyed, meets with Galadriel, the radiant elf queen. Galadriel shows the despondent Frodo what would happen if he should fail in his mission (short version: very bad things). However, Galadriel doesn't tell Frodo (in the movie) that even if he should win, the time of the elves will end. In the book, it's a terribly bittersweet moment for Galadriel, telling Frodo that her and her race are damned no matter what.

Other than that, the DVD is still smashing. If anyone asks what you want for the holidays, this would a nice gift. Picked it up on the cheap, too, for $30.

The behind-the-scenes DVDs (count them..two discs) is probably the most rewarding part of the package (well, maybe for me, someone who has seen the film six times now and was looking for something new to rest my eyes on). Watching the crew go from the book, to general concepts for production, to the finished product reveals what you already knew, but shows it better detail: The people who works on this movie honestly and completely cared about what they were doing. Their love for Tolkien's Middle earth and its inhabitants shine through, leaving a happy residue on the viewer. Films are so much better when you have people who enjoy making them. You can feel their passion and excitement, their wondrous vibration of glee where you become a child again and the world is stretched out before you in bright colors and breathtaking vistas. You can't help but play on their fields and breathe in the cool mountain air, enjoying every rich moment, and when the film ends, you thank them for a job well done.